It's one louder then, isn't it?

The Inescapable Role
Cult Classics
Why Bother? (Stupid Remakes)
Bug Flicks
Movie Serial Killers
Sports Flicks
Gangster Flicks
To(p) Eleven…

Never one to disappoint, I make up for the relative obscurity of the items on this list by giving you that little extra push over the cliff… One extra entry! Now don't you feel special. (Updated weekly and in no particular order.)

Why Bother:(Stupid Remakes)

Listed in order of production (Read: the good ones are first).
  1. Purple Noon/The Talented Mr. Ripley: Please. The original starred Alain Delon in his prime. The second? Matt Damon. Case closed.
  2. Spoorloos/The Vanishing: The first is a masterpiece. (Reviewed here.) The second, a lame Kiefer Sutherland vehicle.
  3. Psycho/Psycho: Don't get me started.
  4. La Femme Nikita/Point of No Return: Sorry. There was no point to remaking Nikita.
  5. El Mariachi/Desperado: Please, somone keep Robert Rodriguez to a budget of $7000 or less.
  6. Insomnia/Insomnia: The second version wasn't horrible but the first simply didn't need to be revisited. Stellan Skarsgård at his best.
  7. Abre Los Ojos/Open Your Eyes: What was Cameron Crowe thinking?
  8. Ocean's Eleven/Ocean's Eleven: A crappy remake of a crappy original. At least the first one had Frank Sinatra and an entertaining ending. The only entertaining thing about the remake, was when it ended. (Reviewed here.)
  9. The Island of Dr. Moreau/The Island of Dr. Moreau: The second is so bad it couldn't have possibly out performed the original (Though, I confess I have not seen the 1977 version.)
  10. Planet of the Apes/Planet of the Apes: Duh.
  11. Nick Cage Tie-Fest… Wings of Desire/City of Angels & Gone in 60 Seconds/Gone in 60 Seconds: Please. Nick. With your remake record… STAY AWAY from the Elvis catalog.
So that's this week's To(p) Eleven. Have a list you would like me to try to generate? Send me a request.

Critter Critique: This week's review brought to you by Gavin.
Fatal Attraction:  Yet another example of Hollywood schlock served up in a double boiler. Though Fatal Attraction starts innocently enough, I was shocked and appalled to witness the on-screen atrocity put forth as entertainment in act three. Trust me, this one is not fit for man nor beast. Ginger Pants