Legally bland.


Cliffnotes review:
Legally bland.

This film goes to: 4
Rated (PG-13)
Directed by: Robert Luketic
Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Matthew Davis, Selma Blair, Ali Larter
Written by: Amanda Brown, Karen McCullah Lutz
96 minutes

Listen up, people… I would like to state, for the record, that I was coerced into seeing this film. Several "acquaintances" had the gall to tell me that this drivel was actually worth watching. "Cute," they said. "Funny." To this, I must reply, "Not really".

So here's the set-up… Reese Witherspoon portrays the bubbly blonde of the title, Elle Woods, who finds herself in the unique (read: contrived) position of making the jump from Fashion Design major to Harvard Law student in order to regain the love of her social climber boyfriend played with little substance or passion by Matthew Davis. The "fish out of water" routine runs thin fairly quickly and laughs are few and far between in this snore-fest that is several thousand stories beneath Witherspoon's talents. She is clearly well above any of the supporting cast (with the notable exception of Luke Wilson who seems to be continually looking off screen for his agent-whom I suspect Wilson has either fired or killed for getting him into this mess of a film) and tries desperately to act her way out of a very deep hole. Had "Legally Blonde" been written or shot with anything resembling subtlety or tact, perhaps it could have been saved. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

It seems that even the writers suspected that the "stranger in a strange land" premise wouldn't hold up for long as they rapidly have Witherspoon abandon her SoCal persona (along with her hideous and supposedly hilarious wardrobe) at the end of the second act and turn the film (I'm serious here) into an ill-conceived courtroom drama. Laughter can be heard at this point… unfortunately we're not supposed to be laughing. Happily this bastard child of "Clueless" spirals downward hastily to its cheesy "what they are up to now" ending and the credits (thankfully) roll. Thank you for attending, you may now commence abusing whatever substance you desire in an effort to scrub the detritus from your brain.

Have I seen worse film? Certainly. There were a few laughs to be had during the course of the film but most came early, when I was still attempting to "like" this movie. Otherwise, it was an exercise in tedium and, unless you are a 14-year-old girl, enjoy self-torture or have been recently lobotomized, avoid it like the plague.

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Critter Critique: This week's review brought to you by Gavin.
Fatal Attraction:  Yet another example of Hollywood schlock served up in a double boiler. Though Fatal Attraction starts innocently enough, I was shocked and appalled to witness the on-screen atrocity put forth as entertainment in act three. Trust me, this one is not fit for man nor beast. Ginger Pants